


Break Me Down

by lilrei



Series: Sleepy Eyes and Boney Knees [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angry Boyfriends, Angst, Concerts, Confessions, Developing Relationship, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drabbles, Erejean Week 2016, Erejean week 2k16, Eren Has Anger Issues, Fighting, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Monster - Freeform, Music, Punk bands, Scars, anger issues, bath/shower, early to mid college, mild violence, prompts, rock shows, sitting in a tub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6441253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilrei/pseuds/lilrei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few drabbles for the Erejean2k16 prompts that I just put into the same universe. Doing the prompts: Music, monster, confession, similarities/differences and bath/shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Double Stop

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry these haven't been proofed but I really wanted to write something this year. I'm still working on my other fic as well.

There was just something about the way his hands swept across the neck and bent those steel strings like it was nothing. Every time his calloused fingertips slid over a fret, his guitar would whine with a little twang that made my heart flutter. As his pick weaved between the strings, little chips of his black nail polish would splinter off onto the white pick guard.

When the solo reached its climax, Jean was on his knees milking his mint green guitar for as much sound as it was willing to give. His right hand flew across the neck in one last magnificent sweep that made his guitar wail like a man in pain. As he hunched over his electric to let that last note ring out, Jean nodded his head to the steady beat of the drummer behind him. 

The feedback was starting to overpower the sound of the bass, but Jean was still in his own little world. He shakily got up and headed for his amp on unsteady feet and dropped to his knees again before the colossal speaker. As the feedback started to rise in volume, the sweaty crowd of the basement show cheered for the end of the set. Jean shook his guitar before the altar of his amp, worshipping the sound as it grew in volume.

The drummer smashed on the ride with a resonating clatter and the crowd around me went wild, shoving their fists into the air with a renewed vigor. Through all the noise and the ringing in my ears, I barely noticed Jean had dialed back his volume and was coming back to the front of the makeshift stage. 

He had this cocky smirk on his face as he slicked back his sweaty blond hair away from his face. His black eyeliner was starting to smear around his eyes but honestly it looked like it was on purpose. He chewed on his black lip ring as he waited for the crowd to settle and for the rest of his band to catch their breath.

Some girl beside me was screaming her damn head off, which was not making my ears hurt any less, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her to shut up. I was too busy watching the way Jean Kirschtein was able to grab every bit of attention I could possibly give. 

When the crowd seemed to get a hold of themselves long enough for Jean to get a word out, he chuckled deeply. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks.

“Holy shit I kind of lost it there, yeah?” He laughed.

The crowd erupted in cheering again, but I was focusing on how his thin sweaty pink tank top was hanging off his shoulders, barely being held up by his yellow ‘caution’ guitar strap. Jean took that time to wipe more sweat from his forehead.

“Gotta thank Connie for letting us use his fucking basement again after last time’s incident”, he continued, clearing his throat.

A few people laughed from the back of the crowd. I watched his adam’s apple bob as he grinned again. He started to fidget with his guitar, pushing it in front of his hips so it wouldn’t knock against his thighs anymore. I didn’t think he should be allowed to wear jeans that tight for any reason. Ever.

“And thank you guys so much for fucking showing up to hear my shitty band play!” He flipped the audience off.

“Hey!” His drummer laughed from behind him.

Jean barely dodged the drumstick that was aimed at his head as it flew into the crowd. A few fans fought over it and the winner held it up valiantly as Jean laughed. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him laugh this much in his life.

“Catch you guys at The Underground next week!” Jean gripped the microphone firmly and let his lips brush against the cool metal.

Then his eyes met mine. I was standing all the way at the back of the crowd between a bunch of sweaty teenage girls near the stairs but somehow, Jean’s piercing honey eyes met mine through all the chaos. 

“All of you”, he lowered his voice flashing his canines as he winked.

I stopped breathing.

 

“So how was the concert yesterday Eren?”

“No, please, can we not talk about this?” I groaned and collapsed over my textbook.

I was sitting across from Armin in the library struggling to stay focused on my Psych book.

“What, did you get kicked out or something?” Armin opened up a second book.

“The opposite”, I sighed and folded my arms under my head. “I watched his whole fucking set”.

“Then I don’t see what the problem was-”

“I watched his whole stupid set Armin!”

A few other people in the library were quick to shush me.

“I heard you the first time”, Armin rolled his eyes. “Isn’t that what you bought a ticket to do?”

“No, I was gonna listen to him whine about one of ex’s then duck out but…” I paused. “It was actually good”, I hissed in a lower tone.

“I mean, everyone on campus knows that”.

“I didn’t know that Armin and that’s all that matters”, I rubbed my hands down my face. “And god his hands…”.

“Not his face?” Armin smirked.

“Armin please, everyone has a face, but no one else’s got hands like that”, I peeked out between my fingers at him.

“Y’know, White Noise is playing again at the The Underground this weekend”.

“Why are you enabling me?!” I glared at him, a blush rising to my cheeks.

“Eren, it’s okay to have a crush on someone…”

“It’s not a crush! It’s just this stupid feeling that makes me wanna barf when I see his stupid face!”

It was Armin’s turn to shush me.

“A crush”, he offered.

“Fuck, I don’t want it. Put it back…” I groaned again.

“Why don’t you like, I don’t know maybe this is a huge stretch, actually talk to him?” Armin propped his head up on his hand.

“I can’t just talk to Jean Kirschtein. He’d probably shoot laser beams at me out of his pretty eyes!”

“Pretty eyes?”

“Fuck”, my head hit the table.

“Just go to his next show and see if you can talk to him”, Armin went back to reading.

I raked my fingers through my hair.

“He probably hates me though…”

“Because you called his band shit even though you’d never seen it?” 

I glared at Armin.

“No because I stole his coffee during our first class that one time”.

“Oh yeah, you did that too”, Armin smirked.

“He’s so pretentious, holy shit. He only drinks $10 coffee….”

“So do you”.

“It’s not gonna work”.

“Just talk to him, Christ”, Armin waved me off. “Now go find something to do and stop bothering me”.

I pouted and stood up abruptly from my chair, making it scrape against the floor. I stalked off down the book stacks, leaving my stuff behind. I’d come back later when I could get my shit together.

I ended up in the space section of the library where most people never bothered to wander. I holed myself up in a corner and busied myself by going through textbooks describing the chemical make ups of stars. It wasn’t even that interesting, but it was distracting.

“Mind if I sit here?”

“Don’t care”, I responded, eyes trained on my book.

The person chuckled before plopping down beside me. I was about to bitch at them when our knees knocked together, then I looked up.

Jean fucking Kirschtein was sitting next to me, our knees were touching, and he was reading a fucking physics book. 

I was gonna die.

Or at least I thought I was until we ended up sitting around for what felt like forever without speaking. I paused my reading every once in a while to look up and see what he was doing. The first time, he was chewing on his nails which I thought was weird because he was probably ingesting some of the peeling polish. Then he started bouncing his knee.

“You like stars?”

I hadn’t even realized our eyes met.

“Err...not really”, I rubbed the back of my neck. “They’re interesting I guess”.

“I actually have a few tattoos of space shit”, Jean showed me the inside of his forearm.

Splashes of bright purples and blues made up the bottom of his sleeve forming the shape of a galaxy. Little dots of white seemed to shine like real stars. His description of ‘space shit’ did it no justice. 

“Cool”, I bit the inside of my cheek.

Jean hummed in response, shifting slightly closer until our shoulders were touching. I wondered if he always sat this close to random guys in the library because I sure as hell would’ve been here more if I’d known.

“You like the show yesterday?” 

I froze and gripped my book on space tightly. It took me a second to get my thoughts together.

“Did I like watching some cocky asshole circle-jerk in front of a willing crowd-”

Jean’s face twisted.

“-yes. Yes I did”, I pouted and watched the floor. 

I didn’t expect Jean to burst into laughter and shove me. He grabbed his stomach and doubled over laughing, even though I honestly hadn’t meant it as a joke. I rubbed my arm where he’d shoved me, not because it’d hurt.

“That is what I do, isn’t it?” He ran his fingers through his hair, meeting my eyes again.

Yeah, and it’s really hot. I thought.

“Yeah, kinda gross”, I shrugged.

Jean laughed again and got up.

“Well, at least you liked it”, he winked.

So he does that often.

“You’re coming to The Underground this Saturday right?” He leaned on a book stack, looking down at me.

“Yeah”, I answered before my brain could catch up.

Jean grinned, toothy as ever before turning around and walking down the aisle.

“See ya there Eren”, he called over his shoulder before he turned the corner down another aisle.

I sat still for what felt like an hour before I started breathing again. Not only did Jean Kirschtein know my name, but he did not in fact hate me. I held my head in my hands and tried to get my heart to stop beating like crazy. I’d have to deal with him watching me again on Saturday.


	2. Exhale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I always thought it was funny to test Eren's temper. Anyone could tell when he was trying to keep from smashing someone's face in, but I always did my best to pretend I didn't notice. I could never tell when I was taking it too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for the day 4 prompt: Monster.  
> lmao I'm so late fml

The first time I saw Eren really lose it was a few months ago.

We’d been dating for about a month and Eren somehow managed to make it to every single show I’d had since I first asked him out. I honestly didn’t know how he did it. Whenever I didn’t expect him to show cause it was storming or some shit, I’d see a familiar flop of messy brown hair with bright green eyes to match. There was something about having someone to sing for that made it all the more worthwhile. Watching his face combust into blushes every night was just another perk.

Once I realized Eren was in it for the long haul, I relaxed a little. I was the kinda guy that people usually thought they liked because they admire me or whatever, but shit like that always wears out fast. After they got to know me and realized I wasn’t the same on stage, they usually ducked out.

But Eren was different; he understood how I felt once I climbed down those stairs into the crowd.

Being on stage and performing gave me an adrenaline rush like nothing else but it was so fucking draining. When I got off the stage and people started rushing me, drunk off their asses asking me all kinds of questions and shit, I just felt exhausted. My hands would start shakin’ and then I was cutting people off with snippy comments. They didn’t notice much, but I was trying to get them to leave me alone. Eren always seemed to notice when I needed some space.

When I’d come down off that stage, jittery as hell, Eren would usually stand back by the bar and wait for me to wander over to him. He didn’t bum rush me like everyone else and that was much appreciated.

I didn’t think he noticed, but he always stuck out a lot in these crowds. You’d think a guy in jeans and a t-shirt would fit right into a crowd of college kids, but he stuck out like a sore thumb against all the leather and black. When he was in the pit, getting shoved around by guys much taller than him, I could always spot him in the mass of thrashing bodies. If he wasn’t moving, it was even worse.

By the time I staggered over to my boyfriend after the longest set I’d ever played, I practically collapsed on him. I shoved Eren back against the bar and leaned all my bodyweight against him with a meek groan. Resting my chin on his shoulder, I waited for him to shove me off. But he didn’t.

“Why’d you go for the encore?” Eren chuckled taking another sip of what I assumed was a fruity drink.

“I always go for it if they ask,” I wrapped my arms around his waist and looked down at him. “I gotta please the crowd.”

“U-huh,” Eren handed me his drink which I accepted. “Last time some girl asked you to give her your boxers.”

I choked a little.

“And you did,” Eren continued.

I let go of him and rolled my eyes. Clearing my throat, I pouted and looked back at the stage where fans were crowding around the rest of my band. I chugged the rest of whatever strawberry flavored drink Eren had and shoved my hands in my pockets.

“Not that big of a deal,” I shrugged and met Eren’s shining eyes. 

“Sure,” he mirrored my action.

Eren always had this little tic when he was annoyed, he probably thought I didn’t notice. His cute little nose would scrunch up a little and his upper lip would twitch. I thought it was funny, so I usually did my best to bother him when I could. But this time, Eren looked down the bar and ran his tongue over his canines before he cracked his neck. The action made my throat run dry.

“You need help breaking everything down?” Eren glared at me.

“Always do,” I sang and bumped his hip with my own.

Eren snorted and followed me back through the crowd of slowly dispersing fans. We’d played at a real bar for the first time in a while and the building’s entire first floor had been completely packed. I figured it must’ve been a few hundred people.

Of course as soon as I stepped back into the crowd, some guys came up to me, drunk off their asses, asking me all sorts of questions that had absolutely nothing to do with my band in the slightest. People always wanted to know the weird shit so they could post on their blogs or whatever. I always gave my fans what they asked for.

By the time I was done being interviewed about the top ten celebrities I would bang, I was ready to get the hell out of the mass of people. I figured Eren was still right beside me, so I reached my hand back for his but came up empty. 

My breath caught in my throat and I felt my heart start to race. My eyes darted around to where I’d sworn he’d been but he just wasn’t there.

“Over here, dingaling.”

I looked over my left shoulder and Eren was standing there drinking a beer. 

“When’d you get that?” I narrowed my eyes.

“While you were flirting,” he shrugged.

I narrowed my eyes and held Eren’s gaze. He had this angry, but tired expression on his face and he wasn’t exactly sipping his beer.

“I wasn’t flirting”, I folded my arms over my chest.

“You always say that”, Eren took another swig of beer and looked away nonchalantly.

“That’s because it’s true”, I insisted.

“If you say so”, Eren shrugged again and gulped down more beer.

He was walking towards the stage again before I could get another word in. I clenched my teeth. He should know by now that wasn’t what it was. I just couldn’t help myself when people got excited around me; I kinda matched their energy even if I wasn’t feeling it. Eren was just being touchy for no reason.

“Oh, fuck off,” I hissed, reaching for his hand.

Usually, when I said shit like that, Eren would laugh. Eren’s laugh was something I kinda fell in love with before I even started liking the guy. It was this full, echoing sound that I could feel in my chest. Eren would always throw his head back and laugh, even at the smallest things, like they were the funniest things in the world.

Eren didn’t even turn around.

“Will do,” he huffed and sped up his pace.

I stood there for a second as my brain caught up to what was happening. My arm was still hanging in the open air and a few people were starting to stare. I dropped my hand and tried to suppress the heat rising to my cheeks. I hesitantly followed after my pissed off boyfriend at a slow pace.

After we finished packing everything up, the normal patrons of the bar were the only few stragglers left hanging around. The rest of my band were chatting it up around a table with a few girls and more than a few rounds of booze. I carried my guitar out back towards the van still frowning. Eren hadn’t talked to me the rest of the night, and honestly that was so petty of him. I hadn’t even done anything.

When I got out into the alley behind the bar, Eren was leaning against the wall, cigarette between his lips and phone in hand. The cool light from his phone illuminated his face with an eerie glow. 

I gently placed my guitar in the trunk before slamming the back doors closed. I ran my fingers through the blond top of my hair and sighed. 

“Any particular reason you’re brooding outside?” I leaned against the wall next to him.

He took a long drag before handing me his cigarette.

“Nah,” he exhaled. 

I hummed and took a drag myself. Exhaling through my nose, I brushed my free hand against his. Surprisingly, he intertwined his fingers with mine silently. We didn’t say anything after that for a while until I stomped out the bud on the wet asphalt. 

“You still haven’t asked me for an autograph.”

Eren barked out a laugh.

“The hell would I do that for?” He squeezed my hand.

“So you can show all your friends,” I grinned.

Eren just kept laughing.

I caged him between my forearms against the grimy brick wall of the bar. His eyes flew wide open and he stiffened up a bit. I smirked down at him.

“Or y’know you could just show ‘em the real thing?”

“The fuck does that mean?” Eren met my eyes hesitantly.

I chuckled but bit my tongue when Eren started frowning at me. When I first saw him frowning, I thought it was cute as all hell, but then I realized he only did it when he was legitimately irritated. 

“You literally never stop bothering me at school,” Eren reached out to hold my waist.

“Not true,” I retorted.

“Give me an example where you don’t.”

“Lunch.”

“You eat lunch with me.”

“Yeah, but it’s off campus,” I kissed his cheek.

Eren scoffed, but tugged me closer. I smiled against his neck as he kissed my jaw line. Eren was gripping tightly to my tank top, untucking it from my skinny jeans. I chuckled against his neck, breathing hot against his skin in the cool air of the summer night. I pulled back to kiss Eren’s nose, which I knew he hated, before pressing our lips together. He tasted like beer, strawberries and tobacco.

Eren scrunched up his face and sneered at me. He always said he hated it when I did cute unnecessary shit like that, but I could tell he was really into it.

“Holy shit.”

I snapped my head up to see two guys holding beers, with their phones out.

“Didn’t know Kirschtein was a faggot!” one of them yelled.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, leaning away from Eren. 

“No shit, assholes,” I dropped my arms. “Go fuck off.”

“I think he was about to suck his dick…,” the other one snapped a picture. “Gotta put this shit on facebook.”

“He said knock it off,” Eren bounced off the wall.

“What’re you gonna do if I don’t?” The first guy laughed.

I felt the hair on my arms stand on end. One thing I learned about Eren after about a week was that he had a short temper, except when it came to me, usually. I could get away with saying shit that would usually get someone else’s teeth punched out. 

“How about we don’t find out?” Eren took another step towards the guy cracking his neck.

I could see his upper lip starting to twitch and his eyes narrow in that way that meant he wasn’t going to let this go. Groaning, I grabbed onto Eren’s arm and tried to steer us back into the bar. I’d heard from Armin what usually happened when Eren really got into it with someone and I wasn’t about to watch that happen.

“C’mon, Kirschtein, control your little bitch,” the guy flicked Eren’s chest.

In an instant, Eren had yanked his arm out of my hand and smashed the guy’s face in with his fist. The guy reeled back, clutching his face before tackling Eren to the ground and wailing on him. Before I could react, the other guy was kicking Eren in the side.

Just as I was about to jump in and help, Eren knocked the guy on top of him to the side with a swift kick to the chest. Then he was on top of the other guy breaking his face with a flurry of punches. I was quick to try and drag him away, but he tore his arms out of my grip and continued to beat the guy under him.

By the time I pulled Eren off of the other guy, his knuckles were scraped and covered in blood. Eren was breathing heavy and he barely even noticed when he elbowed me in the jaw. I dragged him back into the bar as the two guys hauled ass down the alley. 

Eren’s knee would not stop bouncing and I was so close to just holding it down. He was sitting in the booth next to me in the bar as I cleaned his cuts and he would just not stop fidgeting. Other than his knee, he kept staring at the floor; he kept tapping his nails on the table and gnawing at his lower lip. He hissed when I cleaned the cuts in his left hand.

“Great job out there.”

His eyes snapped to mine in the blink of an eye as his knee stopped bouncing.

“Oh, fuck you,” he muttered before going back to his fidgeting.

I frowned and continued to clean his hand. 

“You should really channel your anger better.”

Eren yanked his hand out of my grip and met my eyes again. I flinched and dropped the cotton swab I was holding. Eren froze and watched me carefully before his eyes landed on the bruise on my jaw.

“Sorry,” he started relaxing into the booth again. “I kinda lost it.”

He ran his fingers through his shaggy hair and started tugging on it until I tapped him. He looked at me, uncertainty in his eyes, until I pointed at the scrapes on his face. He turned more towards me, still chewing his lip, and started wringing his fingers in his lap.

“Maybe just a little bit,” I gave him a small smile.

I held his chin and tilted it in my direction so I could see better.

“I didn’t mean...I shouldn’t have hit you.”

“It was on accident.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Eren sighed.

I furrowed my eyebrows before slugging Eren in the arm.

“What the hell!” He rubbed his bruised arm.

“Feel better?”

“No.”

“Too bad,” I shrugged and went back to cleaning his face.

After I finished cleaning his cuts, Eren reached out towards me. I froze up a little at first, so he paused. When I relaxed more, he moved to cup my jaw in his hands. Tilting my head slightly, he kissed the small area on my jaw that still stung.

“Sorry.”

“C’mon man, why you gotta damage my money maker?” I flicked his nose.

Eren scoffed.

“Thought that was your voice.”

“Nah, it’s the face. I could sing like shit but still make it with a face like this.”

Eren dropped his hands and looked to the side offhandedly. 

“Hey!” I shoved him and he chuckled.

“I mean, I guess your face is… Okay...” Eren shrugged.

“Well you sure as hell like it”, I huffed.

Eren just grinned at me before leaning across the table to press his lips to mine. 

“Yeah I do so stop flirting with every single person who knows your name”, he breathed against my lips. “Starting to piss me off Kirschtein”.

I swore my heart skipped a beat. I pulled away to look him in the eye before sticking my tongue out.

“No promises”.

Eren just groaned and slammed his head down onto the table.

“Swear you're gonna give me an aneurysm… “He muttered.

I bit my lip and combed my fingers through his hair. Eren turned to look at me, pouting in the cute way he knew would make my heart melt. 

“That's the plan”.


	3. You and Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months after the second chapter 
> 
> Prompt: Similarities/Differences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so late with these whoops~

Jean always slept with clothes on, which I always thought was weird. Not that I go commando or anything, but this guy actually owned pajamas. These were legit _real_ pajamas that he purchased that weren’t composed of a giant band t and some shorts. That was fucking weird. And he literally wore them every day. Every day after he took his contacts out, he would take off his clothes and then _put on more clothes._ I didn’t get it.

 

When I snuggle up behind him, wearing only boxers, and tangle our legs together, I expect a little skin on skin warmth. But of course that’s not what happens. Unfortunately, that bottle blond idiot curls up by himself on the corner of the bed _without_ the blanket. So when I roll over in my sleep to hug him, he’s always fucking freezing. He doesn’t seem to notice ‘cause he’s wearing fucking pants, but his feet always feel like ice.

                                                 

I wrapped my arms around his thin waist and kissed the back of Jean’s neck, making him shiver. I pressed closer so that I’d warm him up faster.

 

“Can you please come under the blankets?” I whispered, my voice still rough from sleep.

 

Jean grumbled indignantly and tried to wiggle out of my grasp. Huffing, I grabbed him tightly and yanked the blanket over us roughly. Jean wouldn’t be functioning for another few hours so there was no point even speaking to him.

 

“Too hot…” Jean whined.

 

“Not even”, I hugged him closer.

 

By the time Jean started to feel like a normal temperature again, he was starting to fidget. If I was asleep, I was completely knocked out until someone shook me or my alarm went off. Jean always had the hardest time going to sleep and staying asleep, I kinda felt bad for waking him, but then I remembered how many times I’d caught him up at three am watching make-up tutorials.

 

“The fuck time is it? Why’re you awake?” Jean groaned, squirming until he was facing me.

 

“It’s nine am, normal people would be awake by now”, Jean slung an arm over my shoulder.

 

“Fucking crazy…” I tucked my head under his chin, listening to his breathing even out again.

 

As I started to relax, I noticed a faint buzzing from the nightstand behind me. It would’ve been really easy for me to ignore it if Jean hadn’t kept moving around.

 

“‘Sat your phone?”

 

“What?”

 

“That your phone?” I tried again.

 

“Fuck my life”, Jean hissed, untangling himself from me.

 

He sat up and scrubbed his hands down his face before scratching through his mussed up hair. Jean squinted around in his dark bedroom before locating his phone on the nightstand behind me. He huffed and reached over me to turn off his alarm. While he was stretching over me, I pinched his sides making him squeak.

 

“You have morning classes?” I yawned.

 

“Unfortunately”, Jean groaned.

 

Instead of actually getting out of bed, Jean just started going through his notifications and chewing on his nails. I watched him with his eyebrows knit together and his expression slowly getting darker.

 

“Weren’t you gonna do something?” I nudged him with my elbow.

 

“Uhuh”, he murmured absently.

 

With a sigh, he tossed his phone on the bed and crawled over me to walk towards the bathroom. He always took morning showers, so he had to actually get up before going to classes. I kept trying to tell him that taking a shower at night would be easier, but he was always too lazy.

 

I sat up and stretched my arms over my head. If I didn’t make anything for breakfast, Jean plain wouldn’t eat until at least two p.m. Food was just not a priority for the guy.

 

When Jean came out of the bathroom smelling like Old Spice and my peppermint shampoo, I had coffee made and a piece of toast for him. As always, Jean had taken the time to carefully arrange an outfit suitable for the public eye. From his torn at the knee black skinnies that hugged his hips and ass just right to the leather choker around his neck, everything about him screamed flashy.

 

“I only have two classes today, wanna go out for dinner babe?” Jean called over his shoulder absently.

 

I yawned and pushed his plate of toast in his direction, which he ignored. He was still flitting around the apartment his parents bought for him looking for the right black vans. Jean couldn’t possibly wear his black vans with the gold accent without his gold choker; he had to wear his black vans with the maroon accent. That matched better.

 

On the other hand, I usually just slapped on some sweatpants and a t-shirt most cold days. If it was warm, I wore some shorts that weren’t dirty and a t-shirt that probably was. I didn’t see the point of dressing up without an occasion, most people didn’t even care.

 

“I’m tired of greasy food…”

 

Jean froze and glared at me.

 

“The fuck did you just say to me?”

 

“I’m. Tired. Of-”

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

 

I rolled my eyes. It wasn’t my fault I wanted to eat something other than pizza or Chinese food for once. It just got kind of old after a few weeks.

 

“You’re gonna be late. Text me later”, I came over to push him towards the door.

 

“You just wanna go back to sleep don’t you?” Jean grinned.

 

“Maybe”, I shoved his coffee into his hands with the toast.

 

“No sugar?”

 

“Pure jet fuel”, I reassured him as he slipped his shoes on by the door.

 

“Later”, he leaned over to kiss my nose, which he knew I hated.

 

I scrunched up my nose and sneered at him as walked out the door cackling. He was always more gross when he was sleep deprived. I didn’t wanna tell him I didn’t mind ‘cause next thing I know, he’d be teasing me all hours of the day. The last time I told him I was okay being called ‘babe’ he didn’t knock it off for three weeks straight.

 

Padding back into the bathroom, I grabbed my own cup of coffee which Jean always referred to as ‘sugar piss’. I just didn’t like to poison my taste buds away anymore. I already quit smoking; I didn’t need coffee breath for the rest of my life too.

 

When I turned the corner into the bathroom I groaned. Jean had to be one of the most disorganized people I knew, including myself. He had this habit of picking something up and putting it back all the way across the room so that later he was screaming that he’d lost it. It was infuriating.

  
He did the same exact thing with all the shit in the bathroom. His toothbrush was in the shower, my shampoo bottle was in the sink and his hairdryer was in the toilet seat still plugged in. I turned right back around and sat on his couch to watch cartoons. I wasn't gonna deal with that shit right now.

 


	4. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Bath/Shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just doing these for fun at this point

We were sitting in the tub just long enough for steam to fog up the mirror when I sighed and leaned back against Eren’s chest. The bath in my apartment was barely big enough for both of us to fit, but we always made it work. I didn’t mind being squished up next to Eren as long as we both smelled like my fruity soap.

 “How’d you get that one?” Eren rested his chin lightly on my shoulder.

 His calloused fingertips brushed gently over an old pink scar on my upper thigh.

 “Lamp”.

 “What?”

 I started laughing as I intertwined our fingers. Eren’s other arm wrapped around my waist as my body shook.

 “No seriously”, I choked out.

 “Are you just not gonna explain or…?”

 I shook my head as the water stopped sloshing around me. I lifted my legs up onto the rim of the tub and squeezed Eren’s hand.

 “So my mom caught me with my pants down and when the girl was going out the window she kicked a lamp and one of the pieces cut me”.

 We were both silent for what felt like hours.

 “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Eren chuckled.

 I could feel his chest rumbling against my back, sending little vibrations through my ribcage. I shrugged and pulled his hand up towards my face. Running my thumb over some of the scars on his knuckles, I hummed.

 “Lemme guess, fighting?”

 “Close”, Eren nosed at the hair behind my ear. “Punched through a window”.

 “Ok, you have to explain that”, I tilted my head to give him more room.

 Eren hummed and nipped at my shoulder.

 “Mikasa and I were tagging this building when a security guard started yelling from down the block. So I had the bright idea of hiding in the building, yeah? But the stupid door was locked when we ran around to the back so…”

 “You punched through a window? How?”

 “I think I broke my hand actually”.

 I frowned and slid down further into the lukewarm water. My fingers were starting to get pruny.

 “Gross”.

 The idea of Eren doing something dumb and stupid was always humorous, but him being seriously injured was not.

 “You ever break anything?”

 I grumbled at that.

 “Nose”.

 Eren ran his fingers soothingly along my leg. He made a questioning nose as I fell silent.

 “Oh my god it was so stupid”, I groaned.

 “Now you have to tell me”.

 “I was skateboarding…”

 “Of course”.

 “...and I thought I could jump these stairs…”

 “You fell down the stairs?”

 “...nah. I jumped the stairs but I landed weird and face planted...” I pouted it.

 “That’s not stupid”, I could hear Eren holding back laughter.

 “But I was by myself so I just went home. I didn’t know it was broken. My dad ended up dragging me to the ER ‘cause I wouldn’t stop complaining about it”.

 “You didn’t know your nose was broken?” Eren was laughing against me again.

 “Shut up! It’s not that obvious!” I tried elbowing him, but I made water slosh out of the tub.

 “Watch it”, Eren hugged my close, pinning my arms down.

 I grumbled to myself before relaxing into his hold. There wasn’t really anything I could do once Eren decided he was clinging to me. I wiggled around a little to get more comfortable and sighed.

 “At least I don’t punch through windows”.

 “That was one time”, Eren shot back.

 “Still stupid”.

 At that Eren stood up in the tub, making me fall back and hit the rim. Stepping out of the water, still dripping wet, he grabbed a towel and stalked out of the bathroom. He was laughing but I could tell he was pretending to be angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy I wish someone would proof these wow


	5. I kinda maybe like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Confession  
> Jean and Eren have been together for almost a full school year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last little drabble I'm doing for ErejeanWeek2k16 and I'm kind of proud of myself for finally finishing this! Hope you enjoy the last bit of angst I wrote.

“Did you hear what I just said?”

 Jean’s voice sounded distant as I tried to bring my focus away from my dick. I snapped my eyes back to Jean’s. He was still straddling my thigh and his crotch was warm through the thin fabric of my jeans. His brows were knit together and he was worrying his lip between his teeth. His lip ring was making this clicking noise against his teeth that I always found unnerving. Where my shirt was in his grip, he was tugging anxiously.

 “About what?” I blinked.

 “Holy fucking shit,” Jean groaned and got off me.

 The TV was still playing some action movie that neither of us had been paying attention to. Yellow light from the street lamps outside filtered into the room, providing the only weak lighting in the apartment. I sat up as Jean trudged off into the kitchen and grabbed something out of the refrigerator violently.

 We’d been lying around on the couch lazily making out when Jean had suddenly looked me in the eye and muttered something using a lot of swears. Now that I thought about it, it was probably something important.

 “Wait, no, what’d you say?” I dragged myself from the couch and padded into the kitchen.

 Jean was knocking back chocolate milk and he only did that when he was seriously pissed. He stopped and slammed his half gallon onto the countertop eyeing me carefully. His honey irises looked like gold in the dim lighting from the refrigerator.

 “You actually didn’t hear me?” He squinted.

 “No,” I shrugged.

 I leaned over the countertop and folded my arms across the cool surface. The entire room seemed to go silent as Jean watched me without moving. There was something odd about the way he was tracing the outline of my face with his gaze. He’d just started to fidget so I sighed.

 “Well...what was it?” I started hesitantly.

 Jean’s mouth popped open, but he shut it before any sound came out. His hand went straight to his lips as he started to chew his nails. Gold eyes flicked over the marble countertop as he started shifting his weight around.

 I started to come over to the other side of the counter when Jean flinched. I froze. He only got this bad when he was really nervous and anxious. There were some days when I couldn’t even get words out of him because he was so wound up. If he’d just tell me what was wrong, I’d fix it.

 “Jean, you’re scaring me,” I reached out to cover his hand on the counter with mine.

 He didn’t pull his hand away so I took that as a sign that I hadn’t done anything to make him anxious on purpose. Jean looked back at the open fridge before kicking it closed gently. If I held still enough, I swore I could feel his pulse through his hand.

 “Sorry…,” he’d chewed all the polish off his thumb.

 “Uh, you don’t have to tell me or whatever. Just come back to the couch?” I tried, rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand.

 Jean kept chewing on his nail before nodding slowly. I grabbed his hand and tugged him over towards the couch where I sat him in my lap and hugged him as tight as I could. It took him a while to relax, but when he finally did, he fell asleep in my arms. I had to maneuver onto my back so that he didn’t tilt forward and fall. His forehead still had worry lines carved into his skin while he slept.

 I never got a chance to ask him what he’d been so nervous about, but I thought it was better to just drop it at the time.

  


“I’m in love with you…”

 He was saying it like it was the easiest thing in the world to say. I didn’t understand how his stomach wasn’t in knots and he wasn’t tearing his hair out. I knew my heart was racing like crazy and that the world was starting to fade to black except where I was focusing in on him.

 “...and your stupid laugh, your dumb face, your gorgeous eyes…

 I gripped the table in the crappy diner like a lifeline trying to keep my breathing slow and even. The hair on the back of my neck was rising as my knee started bouncing uncontrollably. As soon as my eyes caught on the door, I held it in my vision.

 “...when I first met you I kinda wanted to punch you, but now I don’t know how I could possibly want to mess up that face of yours…”

 I couldn’t help it, I started shaking my head.

 “Eren?”

 Jean was watching me expectantly; the bright smile on his face was starting to fade into worry.

 I did that.

 “Yeah?”

 He started chewing on his nails.

 “I, uh, I couldn’t tell if you were listening,” he met my eyes.

 I couldn’t hold his gaze.

 “I was”.

 “You’re not going to say anything?”

 “What do you want me to say?”

 Jean frowned. The waiter came by to take the bill and he stood up to leave. I pulled myself out of the sticky booth and followed him out to the bus stop near the curb. When it was cold like this, we usually stood so close together that every part of our arms touched. But now, Jean was at least a foot away. The longer blond hair at the top of his head was blowing around in his eyes, but he didn’t move to push it away.

 “You could say _something_ ”, he shoved his hands deep in his pockets.

 I watched my boots as I toed at the concrete. He was making it sound so simple to tell him that I...

 “I could say a lot of things Jean, what do you _want_ me to say?” I looked up at him from under my bangs.

 Jean exhaled steam from his nose, looking like an angered dragon.

 “I _want_ you to say what _you_ want to say”.

 “I’m not gonna say it back-,” I answered quickly, but stopped myself.

 His mouth popped open and his face fell like I’d punched him in the gut. I knew I shouldn’t have said it as soon as it came out of my mouth, but it was too late. It wasn’t like I’d take it back if I could go back, but I don’t think I would’ve said it like that. I wasn’t the kind of person who could just blurt out how I _really_ felt about something. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t give him that confirmation he need.

 What I didn’t expect was the way Jean bit his lip as he teared up. Something about watching someone with such arrogance crumble at my words was discerning. I started to say something, but reconsidered. There wasn’t much I could do now.

 “So you don’t love me?” Jean’s face hardened.

 “I didn’t say that,” I tried.

 “Then what do you mean?” He raised his voice.

 I groaned and ran my fingers through my hair.

 “You can’t expect me to just answer you like that!”

 “Why not? I thought it was obvious by now! You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it!”

 “Is that what you were trying to tell me before?” I breathed.

 Jean looked away and glared at the sidewalk. His hands were out of his pockets and he was flexing his fingers anxiously. He never wore gloves so his hands were red and shaking.

 “Whatever”.

  


We didn’t talk the whole bus ride back towards campus. When Jean dropped me off at my dorm room he kissed my cheek and said a small goodbye I wouldn’t have heard if he wasn’t speaking inches from my face. I pressed my fingertips to my nose as I watched him turn the last corner at the end of the hall.

 

A few days later, I missed one of his shows for the first time. On the day of, I’d set an alarm to wake up at seven pm to catch his show at nine but I’d slept through it. My sleep had been all messed up since our fight and finding sleep had been increasingly difficult. By the time I realized what had happened, I was texting Jean. I knew he wouldn’t answer for a few hours, but I couldn’t let him think I didn’t want to see him.

 Before I could really think about it, I was sitting by his door waiting for him to come home. It felt like I’d spent most of my time of the past year in his place but it just occurred to me that I didn’t even have a key.

 I leaned my head back against the drywall of the hallway and watched the ceiling as I waited. I had no idea when Jean would be back but I just couldn’t sit around in my dorm waiting for him to text me. I was mad at him for yelling at me, but I needed to see him. I’m sure he just didn’t understand what I was saying.

 It wasn’t that I didn’t love him, I just-

 “It was a great show; Connie did a back flip off the stage”.

 I looked up to find Jean standing over me, black guitar case and amp in hand. There were a few stains on his shirt and he smelled like beer and cigarettes. His blond hair was mussed up and poking out in all directions, making him look more disheveled than he probably was.

 “Wish I could’ve seen it”, I tried meeting Jean’s eyes but he looked away.

 “Yeah”, Jean shrugged digging around in his pocket for his keys.

 I stood up and moved out of Jean’s way as he stood in front of the door. He was scowling at the door, so I reached out and took his guitar from his grasp. He reluctantly handed it over to me with a sigh. He now had a hand free to get his keys out of his pocket and turn the lock.

 “Missed my alarm,” I explained.

 Jean huffed and kicked open his door, flicking the lights on. I followed behind him and dropped his guitar in the living room next to his couch. Jean carefully placed his amp near his stack of old books on the floor, keeping his back to me. When he was done, he threw himself onto his couch and watched me.

 “I think...I think we should talk,” I rubbed my arm.

 “Oh really?”

 I glared at him.

 “I’m serious”.

 “I was serious when I said I love-”

 “Will you stop saying that?!” I clenched my hands into fists.

 “That I love you?” Jean’s voice was almost a whisper.

 “Yes!”

 The only sound in his apartment was my heavy breathing and the faint ticking of a clock on the wall. With each passing second, I was able to relax my hands and bring my gaze back towards Jean. He was watching me silently; his chin was resting in the palm of his hand.

 “Jean I-”

 “You don’t have to say it back.” He cut me off.

 I shut my mouth.

 “You don’t even have to love me back.”

 I felt a little hole open up in my chest. The sinking feeling I’d been holding back since our fight the other day was chipping away at the hollow depth in my chest. I gripped the collar of my shirt for stability as my throat went dry.

 “I just...I just want you to know that I love you,” Jean spoke carefully.

 The words he was looking for were on the tip of my tongue, I could almost say them if I pushed myself a little bit. I parted my lips again.

 “Can I stay over tonight?”

 Jean pursed his lips and looked at the clock on the wall. It was late.

 “Yeah”.

 

A few hours later I was in Jean’s bed unfortunately fully clothed. We’d binged some show on Netflix until Jean passed out and I carried him to bed. I hadn’t even been paying attention to whatever was on, I was too busy watching him out of the corner of my eye for any sign that he was actually mad at me.

 After our ‘talk’ Jean hadn’t brought up the whole “like like” thing again. I knew he wouldn’t drop it that easy; he never dropped anything that easy. He once kept up an argument with me about whether I said “ya’ll” on purpose or not. I kept trying to convince him I didn’t but he wouldn’t give up on the idea that I was doing it just to piss him off.

 I chuckled a little to myself in the dark bedroom. Jean shifted a little in his sleep so I held deathly still. I’d taken his groddy clothes off for him and surprisingly he hadn’t woken up during the whole process. I thought for the first time in his life he was wearing just boxers to sleep.

 I took the opportunity to pull him against my chest and tangle our legs together. He only groaned a little in his sleep, but he didn’t try to get out of my hold.

 When Jean was sleeping, his normally cocky or irritated expression relaxed into a soft content one. He looked like someone had smoothed out the edges of his features. His normally sharp eyes looked gentle and rounded in the cozy moonlight filtering in through the window. I couldn’t help the little grin that tugged at my lips when his thin lips twitched.

 “Why don’t you look this cute during the day?” I whispered.

 Jean didn’t move.

 “I guess more people would be attracted to you...that wouldn’t be good”, I laughed to myself brushing some hair from his forehead. “You’ve already got great hair, amazing hands and legs for days...christ…And do you have any idea what that dumb smirk of yours does to me?”

 I reached forward slowly to kiss his cheek before running my thumb over the light stubble on his jaw. He looked so peaceful.

 “I thought you already knew to be honest…” I tangled my fingers in his hair. “I didn’t think I’d have to say it out loud….I-I-I….I’m scared y’know.

 There are so many other people out there that wanna treat you so much better. They wanna put you on a pedestal and watch you show off in front of them”, I took a deep breath. “But I don’t wanna do that to you babe. I want you down here with me. I know your head’s all up in the stars all the time but I think you’d shine brighter down here in the dark”.

 My face was heating up even though no one was there to see me pouring my heart out.

 “I know how you get sometimes, no one else sees you like that. I’ve got issues, but so do you. You can be the sweetest, gushiest, kindest, most beautiful guy I’ve ever met and it’s scary as all hell to know that you love me ‘cause I- “

 I let out my breath and closed my eyes.

 “I kinda maybe love you too”, I whispered into the night.

 Of course Jean chose that moment to scare the shit out of me by tossing around until his back was to me. When he was done getting comfortable, and my heart was done banging against my ribcage, I snuggled up behind him and wrapped my arms around his.

 As I was drifting off to sleep, I swore I could feel Jean’s rapid heartbeat against my chest.

 I woke up the next morning feeling more rested than I had in weeks. The sunlight from the window was shining right in my eye so I tried to turn around, but found that Jean was holding me in place. In my sleep I must’ve rolled around ‘cause he was clinging to my back. I sighed and moved to cover my face with my hand before realizing he’d intertwined our fingers.

 “Can you not sleep past ten?” A gravelly voice mumbled in my ear.

 “Cannot and will not”, I yawned

 Jean hummed and nuzzled his nose into the crook between my shoulder and neck. He brushed his lips against the skin there lightly before smiling against my neck. I squeezed our hands before untangling our fingers and running them through my hair.

 “For your information, I always look cute”.

 I stiffened and my eyes flew open. The entire back of my neck felt like it was on fire as a blush crept across my skin. I held still as Jean rested his chin on my shoulder.

 “It’s nice to hear it out loud, even if I know”, he mumbled sleepily.

 While I was still sifting my mind for something to say, I felt his breath even out against my neck. His hold on me relaxed so I figured he went back to sleep.

When my blush subsided I covered his arms with mine and leaned back against his chest. I thought that just this once I could sleep in.


End file.
